Week 4: The Schnee, a new member, electricity, and Murphy's Law

So then children, QUIET DOWN!!!! It is time for another intense story by the Scotticus. I am pretty sure that you have noticed by now i talk about what is in the title so we have 4 topics to cover and not a lot of time to do it (pretty sure everyone has something better to do with their time on the internet...especially the guys...like online shopping........)

So then kiddies, the first of order of business is the SCHNEE!!! it is a horrendous condition of the environment, one of which i am very glad i only have to see on rare occasions. We talk of course of the white menace, the frostbiter, the SNOW (cue thunder in the background)!!!!! Yeah, it snowed here...AGAIN. thankfully we were warned by the locals that it never snows here and that after the last time it wouldn't snow again...it seems like everyone who lives here just moved in or something. It's alright this time though, it actually seemed warmer today.

Now then onto the new member of my team! i am not talking about a person i have to work with, more of a new member of the food consumption team hanging out inside my mouth...(weirdest sentence i've ever typed). i got a new tooth in for some reason, bringing the total number of teeth in my mouth up to the trillions!!!! It's a little bastard and i dislike it already. Cue the dialogue song! if you don't have a dialogue song picked out by now i recommend getting one in the next 5 seconds. Time's up! Begin:

TOOTH: Yo! i have arriveded
ME: Um, wtf?
TOOTH: what does wtf mean? i just arriveded.
ME: it means What the Fuck?
TOOTH: Oh...well...what is the Fuck?
ME: your speech for starters, who says arriveded? how do you actually spell that? You actually arriving secondly, I mean you can see i have enough teeth already, right? you pretty much dead weight. Finally, you have been causing me great discomfort for the past couple of hours with all of the moving of the gums.
TOOTH: ... sorry about all that but, i'm here now! let's let bygones be bygones and get along! I know, we can have a sing along!!
ME: No
CANINE: *GROWLS*
ME: you know what last tooth? i don't like you
TOOTH: that hurts
ME: yea, well, what are you going to do about it? why not stay in that back corner of my mouth and sulk about it?!!? QUIETLY! So help me, i will not hesitate to pull a Tom Hanks on you! They sell ice skates here!!! (Castaway, for those wondering why i'm talking about Tom Hanks...movie below)
TOOTH: *whimpers and goes silent*

IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, TELL YOUR ROCK YOU'LL BE BACK LATER AND WATCH IT!!!




Now my young and agile minds, it's time for science!! When i arrived in my designated computer room a few mornings ago i noticed that there were several Germans in the room before me. Needless to say that the room was smelling a little funky. Now i'm not saying that ALL Germans smell but, the dudes that work in this yard...i don't even have a punchline or wisecrack to finish. they stank!! so i come to find out that the reason the stink brigade is in this very small enclosed room is that an A/C unit had dumped water all over this massive power supply i had installed yesterday. when i say massive i mean 120 lbs. and wider than me. Needless to say that i was the lucky fellow that got to remove it and take it down to storage. luckily we have an elevator now, no way i would have CARRIED that thing down 9 decks. i would have roped the staircase off and thrown it down...you may smile about that thinking i'm joking but, no...seriously...down the stairs. so then, after that fun was finished i got back to what i was originally supposed to do which was...install more power units!!!!!

Now we get to the science part, class!! What is water to electricity?
*SILENCE*
a conductor! good class! we are on our way to becoming engineers! Next question, if you are standing in water and touch electricity what will happen?
*CRICKETS*
you'll get electrocuted!!! very good class!!! now then you will all find a bucket of water, a fork, and a 220v outlet next to you...
*CHEERING*

So then, the whole point to this part is to say that while installing these power units. my hand got wet...you can see where this is about to go right? while reaching under the units, my hand dripped water or lightly touched an outlet box and pretty much exploded...well that's what it looked and sounded like. what ACTUALLY happened was the electricity jumped from the outlet, to the water that was on my hand, and ignited somehow. i wasn't shocked or anything. i just needed to change all of the clothes covering the lower half of my body because i shat myself...several times. My thumb turned black from the spark and there was an explosion (spark and loud noise), otherwise no damage.

That little lesson brings us to Murphy's Law and, how it pertains to me! Murphy's Law states:

"If anything can go wrong, it will"

Now then...with the crazy stuff that has been happening to me here...trust me there is a lot of stuff that i haven't written about. mainly because i don't want to look like a complete fool in front of you, the readers... ... ... Anyways, i have the new nickname of "Murphy". I know what your thinking, "that's so unfair! nothing bad ever happens to you." people like to think that the things that happen to me are bad things. the truth is that they are just freaking crazy things that happen. the finger was a bad thing, i will admit that.

life is a roller coaster, so throw your hands up and enjoy.

This is Murphy signing off. Remember kids science is fun! so stick the fork in an electrical socket today!!!! don't really but, think about it...alright don't think about it either...you know what...never mind.

This is Murphy, if your reading this, YOU ARE THE RESISTANCE!